Thursday, December 24, 2009


Love is a form of devotion

Ghalib expressed it this way
“Kya khoob sauda ishk ka, is hath de us hath le”
What a wonderful bargain of love, pay by this hand & get by another.

[In any normal bargain one gets the merchandise first then pays].

Marriage is a form of contract,

In a contract, each party tries to extract maximum out of it.

In this materialistic world
Devotion & contract are not supposed to go together
Similar to
Friendship & Business
Friendship & Relationship [developed after friendship]

To make above work, we have to give
• Priority to relations in order of development i.e. first developed relation first
• Not in order of priority/intensity given by society or legislation

Rephrasing above, legal relations may change, but naturally developed relations not
• Love above marriage in love marriage
• Friendship above business contract or Relationship

A small story to elaborate the point
Two lovers were living together for a long time, had children as well. One day to legalize their worldly possessions for their children, they decided to get married. Next morning, the husband waited for a long time, but did not get his morning tea. At last he asked for the tea. The lady replied, “get up & make it”. Now I am your wife.

In a marriage after love, devotion [giving to each other] is converted into a contract [extracting from each other]. In turn the attitude of partners change &with the time decorating.

In arranged marriage, the association starts is with a contract. Hence it is normal.

As per Manu Smriti out of eight type of possible marriages; arranged one is described best.

The lovers get married, & do not consider marriage a superior relation [a formality for social & legal purpose], always keep on living happily.


  1. His is very well written elaboration.. gives greater understanding & explains the gravity of the arranged marriage with devotion that lasts for life

    S.P. Mehta

  2. This blog post throws the brightest of the lights on our knowledge about marriages and the relationships.