Thursday, December 24, 2009

LOVE MARRIAGE Vs. ARRANGE MARRIAGE

Love is a form of devotion

Ghalib expressed it this way
“Kya khoob sauda ishk ka, is hath de us hath le”
What a wonderful bargain of love, pay by this hand & get by another.

[In any normal bargain one gets the merchandise first then pays].

Marriage is a form of contract,

In a contract, each party tries to extract maximum out of it.

In this materialistic world
Devotion & contract are not supposed to go together
Similar to
Friendship & Business
Friendship & Relationship [developed after friendship]

To make above work, we have to give
• Priority to relations in order of development i.e. first developed relation first
• Not in order of priority/intensity given by society or legislation

Rephrasing above, legal relations may change, but naturally developed relations not
• Love above marriage in love marriage
• Friendship above business contract or Relationship

A small story to elaborate the point
Two lovers were living together for a long time, had children as well. One day to legalize their worldly possessions for their children, they decided to get married. Next morning, the husband waited for a long time, but did not get his morning tea. At last he asked for the tea. The lady replied, “get up & make it”. Now I am your wife.

In a marriage after love, devotion [giving to each other] is converted into a contract [extracting from each other]. In turn the attitude of partners change &with the time decorating.

In arranged marriage, the association starts is with a contract. Hence it is normal.

As per Manu Smriti out of eight type of possible marriages; arranged one is described best.

The lovers get married, & do not consider marriage a superior relation [a formality for social & legal purpose], always keep on living happily.

5 comments:

  1. His is very well written elaboration.. gives greater understanding & explains the gravity of the arranged marriage with devotion that lasts for life

    S.P. Mehta
    mehtasp25@gmail.com

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  2. This blog post throws the brightest of the lights on our knowledge about marriages and the relationships.
    Tushar
    2003.tushar@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete